The BIG "O"

Fertility apps = row 2

WARNING:  This is a TMI post, totally and utterly TMI.

So if you read, Happy New Year...it's 2011! you'd know that one of my resolutions for 2011 was to be more intimate with my future husband (FH).  Enter the BIG O.  It has become such a focus in my life as of late.  Let's be honest, all women want to experience the BIG O.  It is can be very obvious, subtle and unnoticeable, some women might have to take a pill to make it happen and for some it is obsolete.  You guessed it, I am talking about experiencing ovulation.  (I bet you thought I was going to say, orgasm?  Geesh, I am not that crass and I have somewhat of a filter.)  This post is dedicated to ovulation.  To anyone who is trying to get pregnant, has been pregnant, or is pregnant you will understand all the elements of this post best.  To those of you who aren't pregnant, don't want to be pregnant or who are easily offended, this post is going to disgust you, and for that I am sorry.  (Actually, I am not really sorry, just stop reading if you are bothered by the amount of TMI you are about to experience.)  And if you are a nurse, OBGYN, medical professional or someone who has experienced any of the information I am about to write about, please comment, offer words of wisdom, or just let me know that there is hope.

I have hypothyroidism, type II diabetes, am overweight AND have PCOS.  Oh and have I mentioned that I want to get pregnant the second we are married.  (I understand there is a science to getting preggers, which I am trying to master between now and 7/23/11; and realistically I would start trying to conceive in May or June, but my FH is way too conservative for that.  Plus I would hate for the booze portion of our all-inclusive honeymoon go to waste, that would be tragic.) 

How it should look if it's POSITIVE.

Ovulation has literally become an obsession to me.  Since last December I have been tracking my periods (Yes, there's an app for that and on my iphone I have roughly 5.).  While I get a period every month, they aren't regular and instead of the average 28 day cycle, I range from 31 (my shortest) to 46 (my longest).  Enter my OBYN and endocrinologist.

It was recommended that I not only chart my cycles, but also track my BBT (basal body temperature, it's just your morning temp before you get up and get moving).  In addition, I need to be observant of my cervical mucus.  (Um, WTF, seriously, I have to peruse the region of my vag for the consistency of the mucus that comes out of my cervix when I think I am ovulating, seriously?!?)  I then have to describe my findings, and keep my fingers crossed for a stretchy, "egg white" consistency, thus indicating ovulation.  Well these were my findings, pictured left (I opted to remove the picture, so as to not offend but should you wish to see what I am talking about, comment me your email and I will send the picture to you, they are medical findings afterall), but according to my ovulation prediction kit (OPK) I am STILL NOT ovulating.  As for my BBT chart, I have no idea how the hell to interpret that damn thing and I don't think I have been doing it long enough to have any concrete findings.  (Even my Indian Doogie Howser M.D. seemed perplexed.)  If I continue to fail to ovulate (According to my Dollar Tree OPK anyways.) perhaps I will try a more reputable brand.  For now, here is a picture of my most recent test, and a picture of the box that it came.  

My NEGATIVE test

For those of you who want to get pregnant a year or two from now, START THIS PROCESS NOW.  You will get to know your body and be super prepared when you are officially ready to try and have a baby.
Praying and Planning.
XO.
Terra

P.S.  I have been imprisoned by the 270s again.  Bastards.  I weighed in today and am at 273.1.  Mother effer.  I am going to have to work extra hard this week to regain my freedom from the 270s...AGAIN.